There’s a poem I love called The Lanyard by Billy Collins. “The Lanyard” When Michael Hauser asked me to do the spotlight, we had a lovely catch-up call which induced in me a deep nostalgia about growing up in Livingston.  I lived in the same house on Falcon Road about half a block from Northfield from the age of three until after college with brief stints in my 20s to save money.  The poem came to mind immediately after we hung up because for me it expresses the idea that we don’t understand the full reality of things as kids and because I used to spend elementary school summers at day camps at Monmouth Court/Roosevelt making so many lanyards.  I begged my father to send me to sleepaway camp, but he was not onboard, which I realized later was probably a financial thing with four kids. I did get my wish in a way as I worked a summer at a camp in Diamond Point near Lake George in junior high or high school.  I recall the camp was owned or run by someone from Livingston and someone else worked there with me (Sue Kagan?) but in my dotage the details escape me. It’s hard to believe our 50^th reunion is almost here!

After LHS I attended Hamilton College in upstate New York, with Ken Parlin as a classmate. I wanted something completely different and thought a small liberal arts college in the middle of nowhere was the ticket. I figured I’d probably end up in a city (I always loved going to NYC) and the bucolic aspect appealed to me. 

I double majored in Comparative Literature and Asian Studies (doing part of junior year abroad in Japan).  After college, I moved to Boston, sharing an apartment with Judi Kutner for a bit. After a brief stint at a travel agency, I worked in an admin job at Boston University.  A year or two later, I jumped at the chance to live in a friend’s rent-controlled apartment in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn – rent was $150 per month.  It was great fun to live in NYC in the 80s.  A few years in I felt that I needed to get serious about a career as I had been working first for a Japanese shipping company (101^st floor of the south tower of the World Trade Center) and then for a Japanese manufacturing company as a researcher/administrative assistant but didn’t see a long-term future on that path.

Livingston figures heavily in my next move. To the extent I dreamt of what I wanted to be when I grew up, it was a Supreme Court justice (or married to Stephen Stills of CSNY).  The former came about from Mrs. Cohen’s 6^th grade class at Roosevelt in which we had to follow something in the news, clipping out newspaper articles pre-internet.  I chose the Supreme Court.  It didn’t occur to me in 6^th grade that the odds of sitting on the highest court are even worse than making it as a pro athlete or entertainer. It also didn’t occur to me that there were no women on the court at that time (Sandra Day O’Connor wasn’t appointed until 1981). By my mid-20s, I understood that the Supreme Court (or marrying a rock star) was unlikely but did enroll in Rutgers Law – Camden, living in Center City Philly over the bridge, and graduated in ’88.  I went to work afterwards for a large law NYC based firm – again in the World Trade Center — where I eventually specialized in transactional real estate law.  The decisions and machinations of SCOTUS remain a deep interest, and I still love CSNY and their solo music.

I met my now “was-bund” at Rutgers. After law school we moved to Park Slope, Brooklyn, married in 1991, and had two children, Joelle (now 30) and Graham (now 27).  We loved Brooklyn life but in 2000, when my ex was asked by his employer to transfer to its Irvine, California office, we decided it was an offer we couldn’t refuse.

Moving to Orange County, I entered what I call my mid-life retirement.  I took a six-year hiatus from practicing law, enjoying my favorite job ever, being a mom.  Still, California was a huge adjustment.  We went from Brooklyn – the ultimate urban environment – to the beige, planned community of Irvine – the ultimate suburb.  I would have been better prepared for the culture shock if I had moved to China as I would have expected it.  Everyone seemed to be tall and blond! People RSVP maybe instead of yes or no! They put pineapple and ham on pizza and blueberries in bagels!   But the West Coast eventually won me over.

Unfortunately, my marriage didn’t survive the move. My ex changed careers and moved to Altadena in LA County, so I ended up moving there in 2008 as well, working at a mid-size real estate firm in downtown Los Angeles.  If you read Michael’s recent emails with updates on the California contingent due to the wildfires, you may have seen my post on Altadena. I remain heartbroken by the incomprehensible devastation there and in the Pacific Palisades which has affected so many friends and acquaintances. I moved from Altadena to downtown LA about eight years ago after my youngest left for college, not for the aforementioned job (that law firm dissolved in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis), but by then I was at a small law firm in Beverly Hills and the commute was grueling. 

Downtown is about as close to NYC lifestyle as you can get in LA. I can walk to stores, restaurants, museums, theaters, Disney Concert Hall, and Crypto.com (home to the Lakers and Kings). It’s an easy drive to the Altadena/Pasadena area and Orange County where I still have close friends.  Another major draw of LA living for me are the truly remarkable outdoor concert venues nearby like the Hollywood Bowl and the Greek.  

I currently work for a family-owned real estate company located downtown as in-house counsel.  It’s a lot like the HBO series Succession (and the IRL Rupert Murdoch family drama) as there are four brothers who own the company and they each have one or two sons in the business who the elders are trying to transition the company leadership to.  It’s challenging but never boring.  I’ve learned a lot at this job which I was not expecting this late in my career, but I especially appreciate my five-minute walking commute. 

Somehow my kids both landed on the East Coast.  There is a lawyer thing going on as my daughter, who did undergrad at Dickinson in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, graduated from Rutgers Law-Camden last May, lives in Philly, and is working at a non-profit in affordable housing.  My son (who went to my alma mater) just completed his Masters in Cinema Studies at Columbia University and lives in Bushwick, NYC.  My fingers are crossed that he comes back to LA for his PhD.  Had I not become a lawyer I was thinking like him of being a professor but in Literature.  Very Freudian!  

My parents passed away in 2007 and 2008 and the Falcon Road home sold so I haven’t had much connection to Livingston since other than Facebook and Michael’s herculean efforts to keep us connected.  Thank you, Michael! I do get back to the NYC area at least once a year among other regular travels. In recent years, I’ve enjoyed vacationing at the Jersey shore with college friends and the idea of retiring there has crossed my mind. I plan on retiring or semi-retiring in the next year or two and am in the process of seeing what calls to my soul as the next chapter.  Notwithstanding the numerous natural disasters, California is hard to leave as it has an incredible range of landscapes from mountains to deserts to beaches, great towns and cities to explore, and amazing weather — it was the East Coast summer humidity more than the winters that I hated. 

With the kids launched, I’m in what I think of as my circle back and level up period, revisiting things that had been on the back burner with the busy-ness of work and family. I’ve done pro bono lawyering and other volunteering over the years and plan on upping that in retirement.  I started playing tennis regularly again in the past year after having played only sporadically since LHS. I loved South Mountain Reservation and nature remains an inspiration with great hiking as close as 15 minutes away which I do most Sundays. West Coast skiing is phenomenal, and I want to ski a bit more before the body rebels. Some of my fondest LHS memories involve the Friday night ski club at Great Gorge/Vernon Valley but was not sorry to leave behind the often-icy conditions there and the Vermont ski areas we used to go to. As a teen, I spent countless hours listening to records in my bedroom.  I’m listening to vinyl again and while many of my 70s idols are in heavy rotation, I’ve gotten into jazz and enjoy building my collection by thumbing through the used bins at LA’s numerous record stores.  While I’ve had some relationships since my divorce, I am currently single. My dating game remains as lame as in high school, but it comes with less angst and a good amount of comic material (like the 60-something guy who ordered a bourbon and bowl of ice cream at the upscale restaurant and whipped his personal blender out of his hipster backpack to make a boozy milkshake. So LA!).  Karen Scapicchio: I need some dating advice!

My recent attempts to find an artistic endeavor to occupy me in retirement like guitar (I took lessons by chance with a former USC student of Bill Kanengiser) or pottery have largely been lessons in humility.  I suppose I could start making lanyards again.  For now, I’ll let the idea of lanyards remind me of Livingston.  My kids rolled their eyes whenever I talked about growing up and I would say, “Well, it was the 70s”.   It was an incredibly special time, although I gloss over the insecurities and confusion that were part of childhood and adolescence (at least mine) and have no wish to turn back the clock in that way.  

But I remember the freedom of roaming the neighborhood as a kid (shout out to Robin Carner who lived across the street and Laura Fisher around the corner), Brownies and Girl Scouts, ice skating at Littell’s Pond and the brook near our house, Memorial pool, the library, being involved as a teen at the YMHA, working at Don’s bakery, homeroom laughs with Mr. Losi and the K-L crew, great teachers, and so much more with tremendous fondness. I appreciate all my classmates from Monmouth Court/Roosevelt, Heritage and LHS and truly enjoy seeing how my fellow Lancers have made their way through the world in these spotlights. Much love to all! Feel free to reach out to me at sleiter@sbcglobal.net or friend me on Facebook or Instagram!