Growing up in Livingston was wonderful. My memories sustained me through the death of my father and the grief that followed. My first trip back was shortly after his death as it was the only place I could go to bring me back to all my happy memories that were such a huge part of my childhood. It was then I learned you can go home but it will never be the same.

My years at LHS were filled with wonderful friends and wonderful memories. Some teachers I remember still, and a lot of life lessons learned. After graduation I went off to West Virginia University with the intent to become a Physical Therapist specializing in sports injuries. However, I quickly realized WVU was a beautiful campus but I was just not happy. I knew this was not going to be my future. Returning home after Freshman year my parents informed us Dad had been transferred to Virginia and we would be moving before summer’s end. As devastating as it was to leave the only home I ever had I chose to use this time to rethink the direction I was going.

We settled in Alexandria, just outside of DC. I enrolled in some classes at the local community college and grabbed a job at the mall and set about trying to find my place. I was invited to a party one Saturday night by a coworker whose husband was in the US Army as a Military Policeman. The party was a good mix of civilians and military and I soon found myself in a deep conversation with one of the Military Policemen about life and what we were looking for from it. We talked clear into the morning. A year later, in 1980, we were married.

Military life was a real adjustment. Shortly after we were married, the Army decided Wayne needed to ship off to South Korea for a year. As he was to be stationed 15 miles from the DMZ. I would not be allowed to accompany him. As you can imagine, this did not sit well with me. Wayne flew off in May and I went home to live with Mom and Dad for a bit and fumed. And fumed. I don’t think the Army knew how to deal with an unhappy Jersey girl who hadn’t even celebrated her first wedding anniversary. I decided I was a US citizen and the Army didn’t own me. So, I went to the Korean Consulate in DC and got a Visa. Then got a passport at the DC office, sold our belongings (to include Wayne’s car – LOL) and bought a plane ticket. Called him and said find me somewhere to live!

I arrived in July 1980 and the adventure began. I lived in a Korean compound in two cinderblock rooms. No heat, no bathroom, no kitchen, no running water. But what a year it was! Having read every Pearl S. Buck book as a young girl, being in Asia was a dream come true. We were under curfew quite often. North Korea would drop propaganda leaflets from low flying airplanes (some of which I still have…don’t tell anyone). I found out I was pregnant in September. Traveling to Seoul on a bus to get medical care became the norm. When I was 7 months pregnant, we decided it was probably best if I went home to deliver. Our son was born three weeks before Wayne returned home. That boy is now 43 years old with a tattoo on the back of his neck that says in Korean letters “Made in Korea”.

We settled in Maryland for four years at Fort Meade and added a daughter. Wayne’s career was skyrocketing, and he was handpicked to create and lead the Army’s first Special Reaction Team (SWAT). They were extremely talented, very well trained by forces all over the country in various aspects and they were successful. They were involved in some special ops and worked closely with the Drug Enforcement Agency on a number of projects as well as with local law enforcement agencies.

We left Fort Meade and spent four years in Germany. We were so very lucky to travel and see so very many wonderful places and things. Venice, Luxembourg, Garmisch, Munich, Austria. Even managed a trip to Oktoberfest despite having small children. Added another son while in Germany and as much as we did not want to leave, we returned back to Maryland in 1989 to finish out Wayne’s 20 years of service at Aberdeen Proving Ground. Wayne retired and went into civilian life in 1993 and excelled but was not happy. He went back to Federal Service as a Federal Police Officer in 2009.

As a military wife I learned to adapt quickly. I never returned to college (a true regret) but I’ve had a life full of meaning. I’ve scrubbed toilets, tended bar, worked for American Express in Korea. I have opened new hotels for Marriott and transferred millions into the Federal Reserve as a Fed Funds supervisor in a bank. In 2009 I became a Site Scheduler for the number two plastics manufacturer in the world. Our children were lucky to spend their remaining childhood years in the same home in Maryland. For me, I could feel the itch to move starting around 2012.

In one of the more unusual events to occur, after a blood donation in 1992 and being registered on the bone marrow register, I was contacted in 1996 as a potential match for a gentleman inflicted with leukemia. After discussing with Wayne and understanding all of the risks, plus subsequent testing to ensure a match, my bone marrow was extracted in a painful process via my hip bone at John Hopkins. It was an exciting and nerve-wracking time, but sadly the gentleman succumbed to his illness. And despite the unfortunate outcome, if asked to do it again, I would gladly. In fact, a few years later, I was again identified as a potential match, but further testing ruled it out.

We were both very secure in our relative careers, the kids were grown and gone, we decided it was time to move on. We spent two years rehabbing the house. In 2014, we sold and moved up to Pennsylvania. Bought a beautiful home that backed up to a farm in a very small town across the river from Lancaster. In 2015, while doing some things in the new house Wayne suffered a series of strokes. Luckily, I was home and able to do CPR (if you haven’t been trained PLEASE do) to keep him alive until he could be transported to the Trauma Center. He was able to receive the stroke drug (TPA) and while his recovery was long, we were truly fortunate that many of his physical limitations slowly became less of an issue. However, he was forced to retire and he struggled. By the time Covid hit his health started to suffer. I retired in 2021 to stay home with him.

In what was a very difficult decision, I decided it was time to sell the home in Pennsylvania and downsize. We moved to the coast of Delaware to be close to our daughter and her family. We miss our home and friends but we needed our family around us. Our eldest son settled in DC and is living his best life. Our youngest is living in North Carolina with his wife and family and like his father, is now in law enforcement. Both boys followed in their grandfather’s footsteps and spent time in the Navy. The eldest served as a Surface Warfare Officer and the youngest a Medic. We are very proud of their choice to follow in our family’s commitment to military service.

Retired life is good. Our home is just outside of Bethany Beach in “Slower Lower Delaware”. We spend as much time as possible around the water. We are minutes from the Indian River Bay and about 15 minutes from the ocean. Several of our classmates are also in the area and we’ve been in touch. We’ve made some wonderful friends who we enjoy meeting up with to check out the all the local live music in the area. We travel to North Carolina twice each summer – once to catch up with family from all over the country and a second time with just immediate family.

No doubt life has its challenges but nothing beats spending time with our children and grandchildren making these memories.