I loved growing up in Livingston and am happy to say that I am still in contact with my closest friends from the neighborhood. It was a wonderful time of playing in each other’s backyards and in the nearby woods. LHS was a great school and I have many cherished memories of teachers, events and dear friends who helped me through the difficult days. My teen years were bittersweet since my dad suffered a stroke when I was ten. My mom, who had an artificial heart valve at a time when they were still deemed experimental, died of complications from the failing valve when I was 15. The school counselors and a few teachers tried to reach out to me but I refused their help. That was foolish of me, I know. They meant well but I didn’t feel I could trust anyone with the pain I was dealing with. My circle of friends were my lifeline and though they didn’t know what to do for me, they did show me unconditional love and their parents welcomed me into their homes. Somehow it all worked out. Amazing what love and kindness can do!

After school I attended Capri Institute and received a certificate as a Beautician but the job didn’t really suit me well. I was already waitressing and bartending to support myself and I drifted into restaurant and retail work as I cared for my aging dad who was semi-paralyzed from that earlier stroke. We still lived in a small home in Livingston and would live there for another fifteen years.

At one of my jobs, I met a wonderful guy who turned my life around with his warmth, love and sense of fun and adventure. We will celebrate 37 years of marriage this fall. We still live in the same home in Morris County where we raised two wonderful kids.

Our daughter Joellen is a high school science teacher working at an alternative school in Indiana, Pennsylvania where she and her husband Josh just bought a home last summer. She is still in school herself part time and will earn her Masters in Special Education next May. She plans to continue for a Doctorate in Curriculum Development so she can both write and teach at the collegiate level. She also works part time at a local Veterinary clinic as a receptionist and is an actor at the Pittsburgh Renaissance Fair. She has developed a hysterically funny character for the fair named Lady Charlotte who is the daughter of the governor of the Isle of Jersey based on Jon Bon Jovi so she uses a lot of Bon Jovi lyrics in her improv jokes as she interacts with people. She feels that Jersey is such a wonderful place that it should be its own kingdom and then her father would be king and that would make her a Jersey princess!  Last summer when we visited her at the Fair we brought a large flag of the state of New Jersey and petitioned the King showing him how we had already designed our own flag. Surprisingly we didn’t get thrown in the stockade and the King and Queen thought it was all good fun! You can take the girl out of Jersey but you can’t take Jersey out of the girl.

Our son Peter is a graduate from Rowan University and has been working as a Senior Paralegal at a large law firm here in New Jersey and is still living with us as he applies to law school. Though he had good grades he has only been waitlisted for several schools so he is waiting to see what happens. We love having him around as he helps with mowing grass, snow shoveling and any errands that need to be run. He keeps busy with work, is an avid gamer and enjoys pickleball with his friends. He is always smiling, helpful to his old folks and we look forward to what his future will bring.

On a sad note, we lost our first-born son Troy when he was just nine months old due to complications from Marfan’s Syndrome. I like to think that Troy is the one who introduced my husband and I to Jesus. When he passed away, we were new in town and didn’t belong to a church but the funeral home set us up with a local pastor who, along with his wife, have become lifelong friends and helped us immeasurably to navigate the minefield of grief that the loss of a child will plunge you into. Our little angel has been gone 29 years now and we have been involved in several churches since then and happily served wherever we were needed in children’s and youth ministry. Today, I serve as the leader of Women’s Ministry at my church and as a Bible study leader and my husband serves on the Elder Board and as a youth leader and Sunday School teacher.  We both love being with the kids and helping out at special events such as being the Bible story tellers at Vacation Bible School and dressing up in costumes and decorating our car at the Halloween Trunk or Treat each year. Last year we were mad scientists and the car was a laboratory complete with smoking cauldrons! We were wearing wigs and lab coats and the younger kids didn’t realize who we were at first until we lifted the wigs and they saw it was just their crazy Sunday School teachers!

Walk in love, just as Christ loved us

Ephesians 5:2

 This verse is on Troy’s headstone since doctors had told us he would probably never be able to walk. We took this verse and turned it into a challenge

Trying to walk in love has brought me to some interesting places and I have enjoyed a string of fascinating jobs over the years although being a mom has been my favorite thing. I have worked at a local farm as a tour guide for elementary school aged kids and as well as helping to run the bakery and farm store. I was hired by my church as an administrative assistant to the senior pastor and am currently employed as an account manager at a medical billing firm. Each job was a wonderful learning experience for me and I have been fortunate to have bosses who helped me to hone my computer skills. I have always volunteered at my church as a Sunday School teacher, youth leader (with teens) and as an adult Bible study leader. One of the most fun volunteer things I have done was to create and run a puppet troupe that lasted ten years. We would entertain at nursing homes and children’s events at churches. This was such a fun and unique experience that brought many smiles to the residents at our local nursing homes. I trained teens to use the puppets and often performed alongside them. I wrote and choregraphed most of the skits myself which was a wonderful creative channel for me.

These days my husband Chuck and I enjoy our time together. We love concerts, plays at the Paper Mill Playhouse, gardening, birding, photography and just being outdoors walking.  We have multiple bird feeders in the backyard and get a kick out of the birds and even the squirrels who stop by. My husband enjoys sports and attending local games with our son while I love the quiet time to write and crochet. Just don’t ask me to knit. I never could get the two needles to work!

We’ve done some traveling and we love exploring new places and have had some fun experiences. We have driven through a hurricane in the Florida Keys, marveled at the Parthenon in Greece, enjoyed fish and chips outside of Windsor Castle during a layover in London one day. We have sailed by glaciers in Alaska and canoed over quiet lakes in the Adirondacks. We love road tripping and recent trips included heading north to Niagara Falls and Quebec, Canada. Just last summer we went south to Smoky Mountains National Park on our way to Nashville to see one nephew (great BBQ there!) and then to Lexington, Kentucky to see the other nephew and his beautiful family. The horse farms there are really beautiful. On the way home we stopped in West Virginia and did the Bridge Walk over the New River Gorge. 800 feet in the air on a catwalk under the bridge! Scary and exhilarating at the same time and yes, we were attached to a guideline! We take two long weekends each year, one in the spring and one in the fall to see the migrating birds in Cape May and enjoy the beauty of the Jersey shore. Due to a tendency to skin cancer I can no longer enjoy the beach during the summer but I do manage to get in long beach walks and sunsets in Cape May in the off season.

We are now looking forward to retirement soon and hope that we can travel more and enjoy the beauty all around us. What have I learned over the bumpy road of my life? Don’t waste a minute! Enjoy each day to the fullest! If you need some quiet time to process difficult situations,  make sure you take that time. But don’t stay in that place. As a Christian, I have learned the meaning of grieving with hope because God has shown me that this body is temporary but our souls are eternal and goodbyes are not forever. Live the life that has been put before you and don’t worry about what you don’t have. While you wouldn’t call us wealthy, we always had a roof over our heads, food on the table and the love of family and dear friends. What more do you really need?

And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.

2 John 6